A very relatable write-up. I've experienced a lot of the same inequity in my life. I'm in my 40s as well and am starting to realize the importance of staying grounded in reality where it concerns mental illness.

If you're interested, I've written a bit on the science behind mental illness and other aspects as well -

https://darhtbjehl.medium.com/every-molehill-is-an-everest-a-brief-primer-on-depression-and-the-brain-fdc0291b5f31

https://medium.com/happily-faithless/cursed-unto-the-third-and-fourth-generation-98816b9acd41