I sympathize, Jess. I've been having a lot of difficulty functioning lately myself. I don't respond well to medication and the ketamine treatments have yet to bear any tangible fruit. What's more, I don't really get any life satisfaction from anything I do. Add to this the fact that recent x-rays on my back have revealed moderate deterioration of my spine. So here I am, mid 40s and faced with a bunch of shit piling on at once. There are some options available but it's clear that my overall situation will be a struggle going forward.

It's ironic that you mentioned wanting to watch British TV as a coping mechanism. I've been watching IT Crowd repeatedly of late. No matter how many times I run through the series, there is rarely a desire to watch anything else. Funny how the brain works...

Anyway, try and feel better as best you can. My rational mind keeps me alive despite my lack of hope, tells me there are options available despite the bleak prospects, and I imagine we have this in common. You might look into Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation or Vagus Nerve Stimulation therapy for treatment options. As long as we keep searching for answers, we have hope.