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My Place in the Universe
A Satirical Riff on this Piece by Will Hull.
So this is where I currently reside, amongst you Earthers, or Od-Terraneans as we say on my home planet. You can get a sense of what that place looks like from an artists rendering just below. We call it Kyboshia, and it gravitates in the outer third quadrant of our home galaxy — Bee’Essen — some ways from here. You’ve probably never even seen or heard of it…
Our planet is a very red planet, mostly because our oceans are filled with a substance similar to what your people call Bordeaux Wine, which makes partying rather easy, if I say so... This is one of the reasons I came to your planet. My people take inebriation and celebration for granted, WAAAY to often, so I felt I needed to go some place a little more boring for a while…where people don’t know a thing about how to really drink alcohol. The Midwestern region of the land you call ‘Murica seemed like the right fit for me when I arrived.
My home city, Ochit, is located on the southern shore of the northern continent there. The locals of our town tend to be a little clumsy and forget what time it is, if that helps you understand our ways at all. For…
