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Time for a Break
Burnout leaves you beat…
Now that I have close to fifty decent posts to my credit here on Medium, it’s time for me to take a step back and reflect on the last few months; figure out just what it is I’m doing here and where I want/need to go with this writing gig. For one thing, I’ve been neglecting the visual art side of my creativity and that simply can not abide. Regardless of how talented I am with the written word, I’m too good as a visual artist to let that side of me flounder. If I did, it might disappear forever, given my mental health struggles, and that would leave me one less firm thread to grasp as I struggle to hold on to life.
For another, I feel I’ve tripped backwards into the same patterns of dependency I suffered in the pursuit of an identity on previous social networks, and I’m starting to hate myself for it. I’ve fallen into the trap of basing my self-worth too greatly on the opinions of others and have neglected to place sufficient focus on improving my own sense of internal validation. Looking to others for approval is a major no-no for me, given how I was raised by a gaggle of self-righteous, passive-aggressive, egoist Fems; and damaged by the same. I wont say that it’s necessarily bad to seek the approval of others in the pursuit of creative growth, but it has to be balanced with a robust sense of internal self-worth, and I always tend to neglect my…
